By Ed Foley, OFM Cap., June 24, 2026
Over the decades, I have learned
that there are a couple of topics about which
celibate clergy,
like me, should avoid since we have no expertise:
like paying taxes or giving financial guidance
since I am supported by a tax-exempt institution
or providing advice on the work-life balance in the corporate world
since I have never been employed there
or offering tips on a stress-free marriage
since observation from afar suggests there is no such thing,
or offering opinions about child-rearing
about which I am completely ignorant.
Family relationships are fraught with tension, even peril.
Some of that is captured in a musical about the prodigal son
written by favorite liturgical composer and friend Rory Cooney.
The lyric from his song “Family” comes to mind,
as Cooney writes:
Living with family never is easy,
Child in a wink goes from baby to beast.
That’s why some people decide to stay single,
That’s why some people decide to be priests …
through Christ our Lord. Amen!
Given this perspective, today’s Gospel
could be considered something of
an evangelical booby trap for clerics
especially some of us ecclesiastical dinosaurs
who left home to join the seminary at age 13 –
something which my own mother never let me forget!
On the surface this section from Matthew suggests
that we have to love Jesus more than our parents,
an apparent contradiction of the 4th Mosaic commandment:
“honor your father and mother.”
So the challenge, as with so many scriptural passages:
to avoid isolating a few verses from the rest of the scriptures
or taking them too literally,
but instead interpreting them so that they are connected
to Jesus’ central commandments
of love of God, neighbor & self
and his relentless invitation for us to be servants like him.
One way to do that may be to step away from the scriptures
and even the human family and, instead, explore more widely
how nature has a funny way of ignoring the rulebook
when it comes to relationships
and even the very definition of parenting.
The worlds of primatology, zoology and nature studies
are filled with documentable reports
of exceedingly odd couple relationships,
interspecies nurturing,
and even hunter-prey parenting.
Notable is the story of the lioness Kamunyak
who found a baby antelope – usually prey for lions.
But instead of having it for lunch
she mothered it and fiercely protected it for over a year.
Then there was the once in a lifetime filming
of a young leopard named Legadema
who killed a mother baboon for food
but then discovered a newborn clinging to the mother
and instead of turning it into dessert,
she spent the night grooming the infant
carrying it high into the trees to keep it from hyenas
and cradled it against her body for warmth.
Maybe oddest of all was the coupling of
a baby Hippo and a giant land Tortoise:
after the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami
a stranded baby hippo was rescued and brought to Kenya.
Traumatized and alone, the 1-year-old hippo sought comfort
in the same animal reserve
from 130-year-old giant tortoise.
Despite the tortoise’s initial grumpiness
– after all, he was well into his 2nd century –
he eventually not only accepted the hippo
but nurtured him as his sidekick
offering him protection and comfort as the world’s
greatest great-great-great-great grandfather.
I’ll end this excursus with the 2022 story of
the English Golden lab Fred who he took on a massive brood
of 15 orphaned ducklings whose mother had vanished.
The ducklings were frequently photographed
hitching a ride on Fred’s back
following him into the water for a swim
and swarming him whenever he decided to rest
climbing over his back,
nuzzling into his fur,
even sleeping on his head
[there is a picture of them on my website].
Charming, you might say, but we are not
tortoises or labradors,
lionesses or leopards;
rather we are human beings
-who fiercely defend our family of origins
our Irish or pseudo-Irish roots
and the ancient grudges we’ve been encouraged to call “tradition.”
In a word, that is both psychological and theological hogwash.
On the contrary, however, there is an abundance of scientific evidence
not only about human’s capacity for non-biological parenting
or the importance of families of choice over families of origin
but also their necessity.
How many families do you know, as do I,
where cousins, or friends, or foster kids
were fixtures around dinner tables
and the reason for buying bunk beds?
How many families do you know, as I do,
where multiple “aunties” were not related by blood,
the so called “guest room” had a permanent guest,
and where “brother” is a title not inherited through birth
but earned in loyalty?
On a very human level we have an experiential edge
an instinctive understanding
even a deep empathy for embracing the other as family.
Thus, to suggest that in this gospel
Jesus is directing us to abandon our families, friends, beloveds
in order to be true disciples
is an exercise in theological naiveté.
Rather, as always, Jesus is missioning us to do something:
To redefine family by embracing the other
other tribe or race
other gender identity or political affiliation
as belonging:
something Jesus does with astounding regularity.
Thus, in deeds without words
Jesus says to the Samaritan woman
“you are my sister”
as he says to the tax collector Zaccheus
“you are my brother”
As as he says to the widow at Naim in raising her child
“You too are my mother, too!”
Pastor Son Yang-won lived in Yeosu, South Korea,
where he primarily ministered to a colony of people
suffering from Hansen’s disease (leprosy).
In October 1948, during the volatile geopolitical climate
leading up to the Korean War, a Communist student uprising broke out.
During the chaos, a mob of radicalized leftist youths
targeted Christian families.
They captured Pastor Son’s two eldest biological sons.
A young student named Chai-sun led the betrayal
and execution of the two brothers
because of their political and religious beliefs.
Both sons died refusing to recant their faith.
When government forces suppressed the rebellion a week later
Chai-sun was arrested, tried, and sentenced to death
by firing squad for the murders.
Upon hearing the news, though devastated by the loss of his sons,
Pastor Son shocked the community and the government:
by fiercely pleading fiercely with the military authorities
to spare the life of his sons’ killer,
arguing that executing the young man
would not bring his sons back,
nor would it heal the hatred gripping the nation.
The boy’s life was spared.
But then mercy took a giant leap toward resurrection
For Pastor Son not only intervened to save the boys life
But then formally requested to adopt him into his own family
To raise him place of the sons that he had murdered.
It’s not too often you hear about military leaders
Reversing an execution order in the face of radical grace,
But moved by this unimaginable act of mercy,
the military released him into the pastor’s custody.
Chai-sun legally became a member of the Son family.
In this aftermath of this merciful abundance,
The boy repented,
converted to Christianity,
and eventually even went on to seminary,
becoming minister himself.
At the funeral for his biological sons,
Pastor Son famously offered a prayer
listing nine distinct reasons for thanksgiving,
including thanking God for giving him a heart
that could love his enemy and compel him to adopt the murderer.
This unimaginable incarnation of today’s gospel passage
Earned Pastor Son the nickname: the atomic bomb of love.
Tragically, Pastor Son’s own life was cut short just two years later.
In September 1950, during the Korean War,
he refused to abandon his patients at the leper colony
when North Korean troops advanced.
He was captured and executed by North Korean forces,
dying a martyr.
At his funeral, his adopted son, Chai-sun,
Led the funeral procession as the chief mourner.
In another part of Matthew’s gospel, Jesus asks
“who is my mother and who are my brothers”
Pastor Son extended that question further asking
“who is my son, who is my family”
And answered it in his living and his dying.
Most of us will never face a grief that staggering,
or offer a mercy that unimaginable
Yet, the very same gospel
That broke open the heart of a grieving father
Daily knocks at the door of our lives as well
disturbing the comfortable boundaries
we draw around our own small worlds
and asks us to look into the unfamiliar face
listen to the unwelcome voice
extend a hand across
the racial
cultural
social divides
and in so doing dare to see our freshly revealed kin.
As that is not an easy journey, we rely upon the grace of the gospel,
The sustenance of God’s spirit,
And the company of each other.
We leave this place and step back into a fractured world
as with the poet, we pray for expanded hearts:
May we be blessed with a holy restlessness
when the circle of our love grows too small,
and the borders of our belonging become too confined.
May the restless, unmapped grace of God
disturb our quiet sanctuaries,
stretching our hearts beyond comfort of our own
the safety of our kin
to find the brother hidden in the stranger
and the daughter waiting in the foe.
For love is not a treasure to be hoarded
but a landscape of the heart
that knows no borders.
So be blessed as you cross the threshold of your own keeping
to stand where the margins dissolve,
until every exiled soul is welcomed in
every wall of hate is reduced to dust
and the broken family of God’s children
is healed in a fierce and undivided embrace
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
If you’d like to listen to Fr. Foley’s homily for the 13th Sunday of Ordinary Time A, it is posted on the homepage of hiswebsite edwardfoleycapuchin.org.
Edward Foley, OFM, Cap., Duns Scotus Professor of Spirituality Emeritus and retired Professor of Liturgy and Music at Catholic Theological Union, has authored or edited 33 books. His works are translated into 9 languages. A celebrated preacher and presenter, he received a major grant from the John Templeton Foundation for Preaching and the Sciences and another from the Lilly Endowment. A recipient of lifetime achievement awards from the Federation of Diocesan Liturgical Commissions, the North American Academy of Liturgy, the National Association of Pastoral Musicians, Aquinas Institute, and Barry University, as well as a preaching fellowship at Notre Dame University, he has lectured in over 70 dioceses throughout the English-speaking world.
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