I felt joy, a hopeful joy that held cynicism at bay, to see people in a governmental agency pour themselves out for those in need.
It was 2003, and I had been married for just over a year. My wife and I had left our native Minnesota and moved east. I had been accepted into the liturgical studies program at The Catholic University of America, and Tresja was looking for work in the governmental or NGO networks in the greater DC area. We were young, so we believed that we would find fulfillment. I would learn the history and theology of the liturgy I loved and Tresja would land a position where she could pursue her passion: international emergency relief aid.
Tresja and I settled in Annapolis, just close enough to make it to the city for work and school but far enough away to keep us “outside” of the Beltway.
I spent one Fall night in 2003 holding Tresja for several hours as she sobbed. She had scored an interview with FEMA, but did not make the first callback. A crisis confronted us. We weren’t making nearly enough money to pay our bills and the transition from marketing management to advanced theological studies was challenging me.
Patience prevailed, and eventually, Tresja got another chance.
But not with FEMA.
This time, she got an interview with the Office of Foreign Disaster Assistance (OFDA), the humanitarian aid branch of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID).
Yep, this is the same USAID that’s in the news.
What I Learned as the Spouse of a USAID Employee
Tresja worked in one way or another for USAID from 2005 until her sudden death in 2021. She had worked for USAID under four presidential administrations – two Republican and two Democratic. She partnered with experts in numerous fields from universities, the military, local fire departments, a variety of political offices, and other humanitarian agencies, including Christian organizations.
I could tell you what I learned about USAID’s impact on global humanitarian aid during those years, along with the things I never really understood. Tresja’s work taught me about diplomacy, training, rating systems, awards, processes, and above all, the benefits of constantly perfecting logistical systems.
But there is so much more.
The Faces of Human Suffering
I learned much more about human suffering endured by people who were displaced from their homes, sick from disease, devastated by natural disasters, traumatized by war, and struggling to live day-to-day because of exploitation and oppression.
Those of us fortunate enough to live in developed countries complain when there is an Internet outage. Can you imagine trying to raise a family when you have been forced out of your home and live in a common building with dozens of other families, with no opportunities for work, and no way to educate your children – through no fault of your own?
Tresja delivered relief and worked with partners in the southern regions of Africa, including Zimbabwe and Lesotho, and later in the Democratic Republic of Congo. She spent weeks in Indonesia and Georgia and went to Haiti twice. She even spent two excruciatingly difficult weeks in New Orleans, after Hurricane Katrina wrought so much devastation that USAID lent a helping hand to FEMA.
Philanthropists – Lovers of Humankind
I met Tresja’s USAID colleagues on several occasions during those years. They weren’t just fellow “loggies” (logisticians). She worked with doctors, scientists, development experts, military veterans, and firefighters.
[Tresja connected with the firefighters – they had a strong sense of mutual respect because of her unique expertise in urban search and rescue execution].
I had the occasion to share meals, drinks, and coffee with her colleagues. The people of USAID reminded me of many workplaces – a kaleidoscope of experiences, education, and political views. Sometimes, Tresja and her colleagues argued vigorously with one another. USAID employees were not monolithic- they represented a living diversity of viewpoints and backgrounds.
But there was one element that bound them together. They shared a common mission to pour themselves out in their aid work to alleviate the suffering of other people. Almost everyone I met at USAID carried the mark of philanthropy – love for humankind.
Sustainable Assistance
Over the years, I learned that USAID did more than deliver food and water. They sent experts to teach people in villages of developing countries how to create their own banking systems and maintain a budget. These systems would make them more competitive and less vulnerable to economic predators. USAID shared clean water technology with communities in regions subject to constant droughts, alleviating the vicious cycle of communicable diseases and raising awareness of the unequal distribution of the world’s most precious commodity – water. USAID worked with international groups in conflict resolution, coaching small teams of natives to teach people in communities of tension how to engage one another in dialogue to learn how to listen, cool tensions, and find common ground.
I had USAID experts as guest speakers in my class where they shared their knowledge and experiences of encountering afflicted communities and alleviating human suffering. These sessions contributed to the process of opening young students’ eyes to meet the larger world. One expert showed how USAID was assisting residents of Gaza by providing repairs and technology for clean water.
I was particularly proud of Tresja and her colleagues for designing and delivering sophisticated trainings on emergency relief, logistics, and related advancement topics to other humanitarian agencies, many faith-based and non-governmental – organizations that knew and respected USAID as a well-resourced government entity that sought to honor human dignity. Catholic Relief Services (CRS) and the International Orthodox Christian Charities (IOCC) are among the faith-based humanitarian aid agencies that received funding from USAID. These Christian organizations have collaborated with USAID on multiple relief efforts.
Feeding the hungry, providing clean water
I recognized the values I had learned as the grandson of immigrants who lived in poverty and in my native Orthodox Church. Honoring human dignity and obeying the Gospel imperative to feed the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting and healing the sick, and tending to the oppressed (Mt. 25:31-46) – I saw these put into action by the people of USAID.
I felt pride knowing that the afflicted throughout the world could count on Americans to come to their aid.
I felt joy, a hopeful joy that held cynicism at bay, to see people in a government agency pour themselves out for those in need.
Care for the Bereaved
In my experience, the principle of loving humankind was put to the test when my wife became ill and died suddenly while providing disaster relief to Haiti on behalf of the United States of America. The people of USAID conveyed authentic care and love to me over a long period of time. They went far beyond the minimal call of duty in reaching out to assist. I don’t think they could have refrained from trying to help. Providing aid is what authentic lovers of humankind (philanthropists) do.
Let’s not be naive. Human beings constitute organizations, and people are broken. Every organization has narcissists, sycophants, naysayers, and opportunists seeking their own advancement. Tresja and her colleagues complained plenty about bureaucracy and personalities. How could it be otherwise, knowing that broken people worked at USAID?
Nevertheless, the strength of commitment to the mission – to represent America by enacting its values in dangerous and devastated regions with people in urgent need of assistance – the people of USAID bore this powerful spirit of mission. I was proud that my wife contributed to it. She and her colleagues contributed to my own formation as a person, and I believe that to be true of the families of her coworkers, too.
The Future of American Humanitarian Aid
While there is no way of knowing how things would have turned out had Tresja not died suddenly, chances are that she would be without a job today.
The lesson I am taking from the current state of affairs is that we are suffering from a severe deficit of faith in our institutions in the midst of a costly domestic political battle.
I will not benefit in any way from appealing for the retention of USAID.
I believe, though, that the world’s suffering will increase if USAID is eliminated. And I fear the short- and long-term consequences of a troubled and suffering world that can no longer depend on American leadership for disaster relief.
CRS recently issued an urgent appeal to Congress to resume the delivery of foreign aid. They speak from decades of experience in humanitarian aid:
U.S. foreign aid is not a handout. It has real impact on human life and dignity and advances U.S national interests. It provides lifesaving assistance in emergencies and supports long-term development programs that help families and communities build resilience, reducing the need for humanitarian aid in the future.
The purpose of my report is to share with you what I saw and heard in a marriage of twenty years with someone who devoted her life to international humanitarian aid – most of it with USAID.
Today, I am among those sobbing. This collective weeping is a lament over America’s withdrawal from the suffering world.
May God hear our cry and send aid speedily to those suffering throughout the world from earthquakes, fire, war, disease, and oppression.
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