A Pray Tell reader writes about the impact of cremations on funeral praxis. Let’s discuss all aspects of this: liturgical praxis, building columbaria on parish grounds, effects on people’s understanding of piety and doctrine, and any related issues that seem important to you. What are some best practices?
Non solum: Cremation
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15 responses to “Non solum: Cremation”
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It varies quite a bit from area to area. I have a friend who is a Deacon in Western Canada and he cannot remember the last time when a body was present for the service. Another friend, a distance of about 200 miles away, says that is very rare to have cremated remains (to which he adds, it is very rare to have a church funeral anymore.)
Most of our catholic graveyards have free-standing columbaria.
I would note that there is a very wide range of clerical differences in dealing with cremated remains. Some openly resist a church funeral Mass unless the body is present: cremated remains = deacon = funeral home! One pastor imposes limits on the solemnity of the celebration so that it is as minimal as possible … essentially a weekday Mass with the remains (and one flower display) on a side table. Others treat the remains with all the formal solemnity: reception at the door, pall, holy water and incense. It varies that much.
From the perspective of the “faithful” it is quite confusing and the understanding of piety and doctrine is blurred, hazy and confused.
Locally, the funeral directors will tell you that 1/3+ of their business never sees a service of any form. The body is delivered to the crematorium and the urn returned. One director has even had to impose additional fees if the remains are not picked up by someone in a reasonable time.
The final disposition of cremated remains grows even foggier. There are laws where I live, but they are rarely followed. The TV celebrates many examples of unique, albeit illegal, dispositions each week. Everyone smiles and nods their heads … and we Catholics talk about final committal … but do or say nothing … and so Dad or Mom sits on a shelf and someday we’ll get around to doing something appropriate.
We used to say, “We do death well.” … not so much anymore.
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We’ve had tremendous success in motivating people to defer the cremation until after the Funeral Mass. Recently, a very beloved parishioner told me that her husband wanted to be cremated and asked if I would celebrate the “regular” funeral Mass in the presence of the cremanes. I assured her that wouldn’t be a problem but asked if there were no additional expense would she object to placing the cremanes inside a casket. She had already mentioned there would be a military honor guard and I pointed out that it seemed to make good sense to place the flag on the casket after the recession. She loved the idea and thanked me for suggesting something that hadn’t occurred to her. Next week we will follow that precedent at another funeral ending with an honor guard. The local funeral director who does most of our funerals is happy to donate the use of a casket. I’ve done a few funerals with the urn on a little table and it just seems a little odd.
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@Fr. Jack Feehily:
Where I live, it seems to have become quite normal to celebrate the funeral Mass with the ashes inside a decent-looking ossuary. There are conflicting rubrics on whether a pall should be placed over it. It seems like a small thing, but I would certainly want a white cloth over my cremains.
In 1997, my mother was cremated immediately after her funeral Mass; the funeral home had supplied a standard-looking, reusable outer casket that covered a removable, cardboard cremation casket. That procedure was going to be my preference—probably for the same reasons that you prefer it, Father Jack—until I found out that the cost difference between Mass-with-body and Mass-with-ashes could get well into four figures. I’m relieved to hear that you don’t just tell survivors to go the liturgically superior route and hang the expense.
Before your comment, I had not heard of the ingenious move of putting ashes in a casket. I’d say the pretense is in a good cause.
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The usual way in the UK is to have the requiem in church before the cremation/burial. Often only the closest family go to the crematorium/graveside. Very few churches have their own burial plots.
Ashes are returned to the family and are disposed of in many, many ways; scattered, buried with a spouse, kept on a jar on the mantlepiece, carried around, or buried in the town cemetery in a special area. While there are stringent laws about the disposal of corpses, the law says little, I think about ashes.
I have never seen or heard of a requiem with no remains, except before Vat 2 on All Souls day. And I have never heard of a requiem with ashes.
It sometimes happens that there can be a delay before cremation of several weeks. While catholics seem to wait, other denominations sometimes go ahead with a memorial service for all, and then have something small-scale when the time for the funeral/cremation comes. -
Just as beachfront resorts and wineries have taken away a large portion of weddings from Catholic churches, aggressive sales/marketing of inclusive graveside services is chipping away at our funerals. Previously, the funeral home, the cemetery, and the church were three separate operations. But when the cemetery builds a cushy funeral home and chapel on site, offering convenient one-stop shopping, why bother driving across town to a church?
I recently heard about a devout Catholic woman who passed away. Her son decided just to “have something” at the funeral home rather than to “bother going to church.” If you have not been to church in many years, why start now?
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My parish does not have a cemetery but it does have a columbarium, and I think this is a two-edged sword: on the one hand, if Catholics are allowed to choose cremation, and roughly half of the funerals at our parish seem to involve cremation (sometimes waiting until after the funeral), then it is only right to give them a place to which they can properly commit the cremated remains; on the other hand, our articulations of the Church’s preference against cremation are largely lip service (we’ll help you do option 2 with ease, but not preferred option 1; don’t cremate, but buy a niche in our columbarium).
At the end of the day, the notion of declaring our faith in (and awaiting) the final Resurrection through burial just doesn’t outrank more pragmatic concerns in many Catholics’ minds, especially in our mobile culture where some want a funeral at their current home but burial in another place, or when families are dispersed over 1000s of miles and enjoy the scheduling delay afforded them by cremation. We have done a funeral or two, with cremated remains present, *months* after the death.
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I wish it weren’t the case because I would prefer to be cremated but I just can’t think of a way to have cremation and the fullness of the rites.
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We have a beautiful courtyard/garden adjacent to the church. It has a Marian grotto with a waterfall on each side. In the middle of the garden stands our original stone baptismal font with flowing water. I would love to construct columbaria and know a number of parishioners who love the concept. The problem is an atavistic worship czar who’s on record stating columbaria only belong in cemeteries where other options are available. Ours is a stable suburban parish unlikely to be priest-less in the foreseeable future. Any suggestions? BTW, my plan involves providing an incentive to people who will defer the cremation unti after the funeral Mass.
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Jack – We were also told not to have graves, cremains or whatever buried/entombed in church parish property other than official cemeteries, because it would make it harder to dispose of the said properties if you ever had to close/merge parishes. However, it seems unlikely because they just closed a place with two people buried in the basement chapel.
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The question posed raises an important liturgical point. I would like to remind all of us, and especially the clergy, that the Mass is for the living and the dead. Yes, all Masses commemorate the dead. However, I dearly wish that the clergy would consider saying the daily requiem on a weekday at least once a month instead of the Mass per annum. My sometime Anglo-Catholic parish said a low requiem once a month in liturgical black! In my time at this parish, parishioners understood what a requiem Mass was and didn’t flip out. If they had scruples about the liturgy, they did not attend. In any event, few actually attended.
After the Council, a catafalque is no longer needed. Violet vestments may now be worn. Violet might help people more easily contextualize that the daily Requiem is principally about the dead, as liturgical black might be overly morbid and detract from the meaning of the Mass. A Mass specifically said for the dead reminds us precisely that the Holy Souls and the deceased who live in the beatific vision are very much “alive” in the holy liturgy and in our lives. I believe that we, as Catholics, have sometimes forgotten who the Mass is offered for and the import of this offering.
Please, Fathers, do say a votive requiem once a month on an unimpeded day.
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I apologize for my cultural insensitivity. Might I hasten to add that violet might not always be appropriate. In some cultures, white is the color of mourning. In these cases this liturgical color might be quite suitable for a votive requiem.
However, some Americans come from cultural backgrounds where liturgical violet signifies penitence and somber reflection. I would hope that pastors would act according to the sensibilities of their parishioners. However, in places where violet is culturally appropriate, I would hope that these vestments are used.
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In Japan cremation is the norm, though since my community, the SVD, had our own cemetery we buried the remains. However when we sought to expand the burial plot, for a variety of reasons too complex to explain here, we switched to cremation. Bringing the remains from one civil juristiction to another requires a permit, and adds to the expense. In my present parish we recently built a columbarium since the Catholic plot at the local cemetery was reaching its capacity. With very rare exceptions cremation among all religious groups takes place after the funeral. Actual burial will often not take place until the customary period of mourning has been fulfilled, in some areas 49 days after the funeral. Depending on the wishes of the mourners, the burial may be preceeded by a Mass for the deceased. Since purple and or black are the Buddhist colors for mourming, white is used as a witness to Christian faith in the resurrection.
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Cremation is the best comfortable services for our family.two process is very comfortable but funeral process is very cost full otherwise cremation is cheaper that is available for all general people.
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” I found out that the cost difference between Mass-with-body and Mass-with-ashes could get well into four figures.”
That made me splutter my coffee all over the desk.
This is in a christian church, yes?-
@Alan Johnson:
The amounts paid to the ministers of the liturgy (officiant, musicians, possibly servers) presumably don’t differ by a penny. The difference is the cost of the casket and funeral home services.
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