Rituals for Catholics Coming Home?

What does your parish do when Catholics who have left the church behind seek to return home? What ritual expressions, if any, do you give to this return? Are there any resources available for these journeys?
An Austrian friend e-mailed me a recently asking whether it was true that in the U.S. some catholic parishes offer complete “coming home”-programs, modeled to some degree on ancient rituals of the public, ecclesial reconciliation of sinners.  These programs supposedly end with an open reconciliation of those returning home to the church.
I have never experienced this in over thirty years of living here, but am curious whether such very developed, ritualized ways of coming home to Mother Church are indeed practiced anywhere? In my parish, two people who sought to “come home” in the last two years did so mainly through a long sacramental confession/conversation (enabling what the French call a revision de vie) that opened the door to rejoining the life of the church, Sunday Mass included.  Another woman, who wanted to take a more visible, public stance with regard to her “home-coming,” reconfirmed her baptismal vows in a Sunday Mass, spoke briefly before the congregation about her return home, and then went to communion with us at that Mass.

What other practices do you know of?

Teresa Berger

Teresa Berger is Professor of Liturgical Studies at the Yale Institute of Sacred Music and Yale Divinity School in New Haven, CT, USA, where she also serves as the Thomas E. Golden Jr. Professor of Catholic Theology. She holds doctorates in both theology and in liturgical studies. Recent publications include an edited volume, Full of Your Glory: Liturgy, Cosmos, Creation (2019), and a monograph titled @ Worship: Liturgical Practices in Digital Worlds (2018). Earlier publications include Gender Differences and the Making of Liturgical History (2011), Fragments of Real Presence (2005), and a video documentary, Worship in Women’s Hands (2007).

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Comments

25 responses to “Rituals for Catholics Coming Home?”

  1. John Swencki

    How can you top (Sacr of Reconciliation and) receiving Communion with the community?

    Reply
  2. Jim Pauwels

    Hello, Teresa and all,

    I recall one time, about 20 years ago, that a woman stepped forward from our community and recited some words – I recall it being in the form of a pledge – whose intended effect was to restore her to communion with the church. Unfortunately, I don’t have any way of getting my hands on the text (it was three pastors ago :-)). For her, it was an emotional and joyful occasion, or so her expression and body language told me. My supposition is that this public rite was preceded by some private preparation.

    You may be familiar with the Catholics Come Home program. Our archdiocese (Chicago) and some neighboring dioceses ran the program’s evocative television advertisements for a couple of years. I haven’t seen them recently, and so suppose they didn’t have the desired effect, and/or the budget was chopped.

    http://www.catholicscomehome.org/

    Reply
  3. John J. Hoffman

    Couldn’t there be just a simple ritual done in an intimate setting? Such as a group of friends, family members or faith organization (i.e. small Christina community, choir, etc.) gathered to pray and give thanks for this persons return to the “active” faith? Something like this?

    Prayer said by the person returning:

    O God, thank you for opening my heart and soul to (once again) receive the embrace of your Church. I rejoice with my friends/family that walked with me on this journey and have now gathered by me. I give you thanks for this moment and all the gifts you have provided. May I grow in the faith as proclaimed and lived by your holy family the Church. Help me to minister with a sense of welcome and hospitality so often expressed by those with me now so that others like me may return home to the Body of Christ.
    Let your will be done in all things through Christ our Lord. Amen.

    The group members could then embrace this person or offer some sign of peace and expression of joy.

    I would think such a moment would be profound and meaningful. Its simplicity would allow for a genuine and an authentic personal expression from people who know this person well.

    I don’t think we need an official rite for this. Something more personal and yet formal enough that it would be seen as an exceptional expression from the parish family if not the Church.

    Reply
  4. Alan Hommerding

    I agree that all we need for a sacramental reconciliation is already at our disposal.
    What I wonder about is a one-size-fits-all “welcoming” ritual, given the variety and complexity of reasons underlying people’s stories as to why they left – or were asked/made to leave – in the first place. The shortcoming of the reconciliation rite for this type of event is that it doesn’t make any allowance for occasions where the institution/parish/pastor or what-who have you needs to acknowledge some responsibility for the rupture. Often this is a two-(or more)-sided relational type of reconciliation that needs to happen, with acknowledgment of fault and extension of forgiveness by all involved. And perhaps first our communities would need some formation to rejoice fully at the return of the one sheep to the fold.
    The (arch)dioceses of Chicago and Joliet, I know, spent millions on the Catholics Can Come Home campaign; I inquired at an archdiocesan meeting about success rate. Granted, a good number of returnees may prefer to be silent or private vs. public about this. It didn’t seem like there was any mechanism set in place to do any kind of metrics about this; maybe that’s for the best, since this isn’t a cost/benefit phenomenon.
    I’ve only known one individual personally who returned briefly – but said that the return only helped recall why they left in the first place. I understand the teachings about returning to full communion and all, but when the place you’re returning to has a bunch of restrictions and requirements you need to meet before you can come to the dinner table, maybe “home” isn’t the best or most accurate image to use.

    Reply
    1. Paul Inwood

      @Alan Hommerding:

      I’ve only known one individual personally who returned briefly – but said that the return only helped recall why they left in the first place.

      This is just classic, and so often true in my experience.

      Reply
  5. Scott Pluff

    Perhaps if they had previously made some formal declaration of leaving then an equally formal declaration of returning would be in order. But I would resist any urge to formally ritualize or program-itize people who have simply drifted away.

    In our parish’s participation in the Catholics Come Home campaign, my parish communicated that returning was as easy as 1) go to confession 2) attend Mass 3) receive Communion. No forms to fill out, no program to join, no special dates to attend. The return route was as close as the confessional any time the light was turned on.

    Reply
  6. Karl Liam Saur

    Present them an invoice.

    Reply
    1. Teresa Berger

      @Karl Liam Saur:
      Well, “presenting them an invoice” seems to be what happens in German-speaking contexts: Catholics “coming home” sign a form that effectively (re-)enrolls them as Catholic parishoners again — and the state then collects a small amount of their income tax as “church tax.”

      Reply
  7. Adam Booth, CSC

    The Paulist have something called “Landings” which is meant to do what you’re talking about. I’ve never personally been involved with it, but here’s the website: http://landingsintl.org/

    My own experience with “re-verts” is that they do it on their own schedule, in their own (sometimes ‘improper’) order, and involve official church figures on their own terms.

    Reply
    1. Philip Spaeth

      @Adam Booth, CSC:
      My parish has been using the Paulist “Landings” model for a number of years, and the responses have been good. I am not directly involved with this, but it involves a small team (2-3 people… not clergy) who meet regularly, though not on a strict schedule, with those who are returning to the Church. It seems to involve very small group discussions (sometimes one-on-one) about reasons for leaving, reasons for coming back, some catechesis (only when needed or appropriate), etc. There are no public rituals involved, but I do not know to what extent they are encouraged to celebrate Reconciliation or when. This seems a very effective program from my POV. Those who have returned through it in my parish have gradually become more involved in ministry. One woman whom I have known both before her leaving and since her return just seems a bit more at peace with the Church to me. This is all anecdotal, of course, and from someone not directly involved, but it looks to be effective.

      What I do know is that it is not about putting up big numbers of returnees, but offering a “soft landing”. (Hence, the name of the program!) We always have flyers about the program in the Church vestibule, and they are given out with the bulletins on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, and other occasions wherein we encounter those who have been away. Parishioners, too, are encouraged to take one for those they may know who fit this category.

      IMHO, public rituals are not necessarily needed for this, as one would have in the RCIA, for example. It is a very different matter.

      Reply
  8. Rita Ferrone Avatar
    Rita Ferrone

    In 1983, I think, Cardinal Bernardin, inspired by the pastoral success of the RCIA, asked for an exploration of ways to revive the ancient Order of Penitents for reconciliation.

    Jim Lopresti, then a Jesuit working for the Loyola Pastoral Institute in New York, Joe Favazza, author of a major historical work on the Order of Penitents, Bob Blondell, pastor of a large church in suburban Detroit, and Sr. Therese Anne Kiefer, a Precious Blood sister in pastoral ministry in the Midwest (I want to say Kansas, but I’m not sure now) worked together to develop this idea as a ritual and pastoral reality. Lopresti received a grant to write about it, and went to the North American Forum on the Catechumenate to further the project.

    They developed an institute called “Re-Membering Church” which used both a community-based interpersonal process, and liturgical rites punctuating this process, to “journey with” individuals on their way back to the table of the Eucharist.

    The first publication about this project was Jim Lopresti’s monograph The Order of Penitents: A Reform Proposal for the Rite published by Pastoral Press. Later, in 1991, a book by Sally (Sarah) Harmony, called Re-Membering: The Ministry of Welcoming Alienated and Inactive Catholics was published by Liturgical Press.

    The rites were actually very beautiful, but the project was stymied by a change in the climate of the bishops’ conference. They didn’t want things like this, and Bernardin’s call never got the backing after his death. People in parishes, realizing of course that this was not an “official” rite, hesitated to embrace it although a some parishes did have good experiences if the pastor was supportive. A number of other places reported that they tried it, but the people who were returning wanted to blend in and not be noticed so that diminished interest in the ritual aspect.

    Also, it must be said that the ideal embodied in James Dallen’s book, The Reconciling Community, was not well understood and still is not understood. We have a privatized vision of reconciliation. Militantly so. To make a long story short, the Re-Membering Church institute eventually died out. Joe Favazza, realistically, wanted to develop a different effort subsequently, aimed at better use of the full options of the Rite of Penance. But the idea never got off the ground. The Forum itself closed down in 2013.

    Teresa, your friend may be in touch with people in those parishes who did use the rites that were developed, ad experimentum, for this “restored order of penitents.” It’s not sackcloth and ashes, but rather a communal recognition of God’s mercy and an accompaniment to “the table of apostles and witnesses” envisioned as a faith journey.

    Reply
    1. Teresa Berger

      @Rita Ferrone:
      Ah, thanks a million, Rita! This is exactly what my friend must have heard about, in the 1990s, from her liturgical studies professor.
      I had no idea this existed.

      Reply
      1. Rita Ferrone Avatar
        Rita Ferrone

        @Teresa Berger:
        You are welcome! Aside from the people I named above, there were others who were very committed to this effort on the pastoral end, on the ground, such as Fr. Bob Kennedy of Rochester, Fr. Lou Sogliuzzo, SJ, Fr. Stan Szczapa of Connecticut, and Clare Colella of San Bernadino. I think a lot of these people were engaged in pastoral counseling and outreach ministries to the alienated.

  9. Rita Ferrone Avatar
    Rita Ferrone

    A lot of Catholics (as evident in some of the comments above) deny that any ministry of reconciliation is needed, aside from the priest in confession.

    That’s what I mean by a militantly private vision.

    I think the fact that almost no one is coming back under those terms suggests that better thoughts are needed.

    Reply
    1. John Swencki

      @Rita Ferrone:
      The Mass itself is “loaded” with reconciliation gestures, everything from the Penitential Rite to the Lord’s Prayer to the Sign of Peace and supremely in the reception of Communion. Let’s better understand the significance of these parts of the Mass individually and the Mass as a whole, and it might make every Mass a “welcoming home” for all of us.

      Reply
      1. Rita Ferrone Avatar
        Rita Ferrone

        @John Swencki:
        Hi John,
        Thanks for your comment. You don’t need to persuade me of the riches of the Mass. It sure does work for those who are evangelized, catechized, formed and supported in their faith and life. But here’s the point. Reconciliation isn’t happening for a vast majority of people who leave. If what you say is true and Mass is sufficient, then there is no need for anything else. Yet plainly these people are not coming back, are not being helped to come back, and not being supported when and if they do feel a stirring of desire to come back. So you can sit back and say the Mass has it all, and wait for the world to come around. But for some people, this is not enough. I thank God there are still people in our Church who want to engage in ministries of reconciliation, who do more to make return possible and lasting.

      2. John Swencki

        @Rita Ferrone:
        Rita, I certainly don’t suggest “sitting back”; when I speak of the Mass I think of everything to do with the Mass– the way it is celebrated, the environment, homily, music, comportment of ministers, sense of welcome etc. Done well, the Mass could make faith in Jesus irresistible.
        And not all who have left are the uncatechized, unsupported or unformed in faith. To those who are, tremendous outreach, effort and love are a good part of the order of the day. But what about those who once were very much a part of the family, who have had all the education, formation and perhaps even leadership positions and who may have stepped back?

  10. Alan Hommerding

    I’m not sure if the “spiritual but not religious” folks even factor Jesus into the equation, aside from being one of the great moral teachers/exemplars. I know that in my own gene pool and among my acquaintances who are no longer religiously observant (but are still deistic/theistic), the Jesus-Christ event as the Church observes it just isn’t important, or central, or viewed as necessary for their lives – much less being a normative or exclusive way to “salvation.” They definitely aren’t driven by the hope of heaven/fear of hell dynamic, and have come to learn that they can still be good people and do good things in the world without being attached to the ecclesial structures. They can belong to many types of communities that advocate for the people Jesus was an advocate for, and no longer see the necessity for the mechanism of an organized religion, especially when that religion (or those religions) are rightly perceived as wreaking as much havoc and alienation in the world as they bring about good.
    In short, a good number of the former Roman Catholics of my acquaintance would probably just see the “come home” signs and figure that’s a nice thing – for somebody else. They don’t really need it or desire it.

    Reply
  11. Lee Bacchi

    Karl Liam Saur : Present them an invoice.

    Or a box of offering envelopes? (JUST KIDDING!!)

    Maybe just include them with the periodic list of new parishioners, and any Spiritual/social events connected with that group.

    Reply
  12. J A Roberts

    Just a thought: the sacrament of penance is the best way home. Then introduce the returnees to others to help them feel at home. We do not need any more rituals to clutter Mass.

    Reply
  13. Peter Rehwaldt

    Alan Hommerding : In short, a good number of the former Roman Catholics of my acquaintance would probably just see the “come home” signs and figure that’s a nice thing – for somebody else. They don’t really need it or desire it.

    As one who comes in contact with a good number of former Roman Catholics, my experience is a bit different. For these folks, it’s not that they don’t really need it or desire it, but that they have come to see that when “home” comes with conditions and limits, it ceases in some sense to be home. What does “come home” mean to a divorced and remarried former Roman Catholic?

    Similarly, the absence of meaningful accountability for bishops involved in protecting abusive priests puts an odd twist on “come home.” What does “come home” mean if the leader of the household enabled abuse within the home to continue?

    Of course, those former Roman Catholics who come to a Lutheran pastor looking for a home — a home that they believe is truly a home — are hardly a representative sample of all former RCs. Between your friends and mine, Alan, I suspect we’re closer to a full picture of the dynamic.

    Reply
    1. Alan Hommerding

      @Peter Rehwaldt:
      In the UCC church where I’m the music director, I have an experience more like yours, Peter. It’s always good to know that there are some RCs who still seek a church-home to go to.

      Reply
    2. Elisabeth Ahn

      @Peter Rehwaldt:

      What does “come home” mean to a divorced and remarried former Roman Catholic?

      How about, to borrow from Pope Francis’s words, to give “the testimony of a man and a woman saying, ‘I made a mistake, I was wrong here, but I believe our Lord loves me, I want to follow God, I was not defeated by sin, I want to move on'”?

      What does “come home” mean if the leader of the household enabled abuse within the home to continue?

      How about to confront and challenge those leaders, hold them accountable, and work to make sure such things would never ever happen again, instead of, you know, standing outside the fence and continuously pointing their fingers at it?

      @Rita Ferrone:

      But for some people, this is not enough.

      True. But for some people, nothing will ever be enough — well, at least if one were to judge from the comments in the Catholic blogosphere.

      Nevertheless:

      I thank God there are still people in our Church who want to engage in ministries of reconciliation, who do more to make return possible and lasting.

      Ditto and Amen.

      Reply
  14. Terry Humenik

    One experience I have had this year is that a woman who left the active practice of the church at 18, had a civil marriage, 2 children then got divorced and remarried decided 30 years later that suddenly her faith was very important to her. She went to the pastor of our parish and told him she needed an update on her faith knowing that things had changed in her absence. He suggested she participate in the RCIA which she did while making many friends. She is also working through the annulment (invalidity of marriage) process and is happy to be “back home”. This may not be the answer for everyone and I think we need to consider that there are many reasons some people drift away or leave the church throughout their lives. Some may desire a more formal re-entry process and others are more private and are content with Reconciliation and Mass. Including their names in the bulletin with others who have newly registered in the parish and in any gatherings of new people in the parish is appropriate so that they too can get to know others in the body of Christ who are in this particular parish community.
    I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all process for re-entry. Consider for each one how Jesus would welcome them back.

    Reply
  15. Michael Marchal

    After working with both RCIA and youth retreats and being involved with some “returners,” I ended up, after much reflection, with the insight that we have to look at “returners,” etc. under the general grouping of people who are reaffirming their Baptism. And, like Oakham’s 2 lenses for looking at candidates, I believe that there are 2 lenses for looking at this whole complex group of people: the lens of claiming their Christian initiation and the lens of pastoral care. I ended up identifying 7 subcategories of people, each of which is a blend of these 2 elements. I wrote the insight up and the journal of NCCL will be publishing it sometime soon.

    Reply

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