Some Irish wit and wisdom for the day from Pray Tell:
Get on your knees
and thank the Lord
you’re still on your feet.
Irish Alzheimer’s: you forget everything except the grudges.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Every night an Irishman walks into a bar in Boston and orders three beers for himself. After a time the bartender tells the man that he’s happy to bring the beers one at a time instead of all three at the outset. The man explains, “Not, I want it this way. The one brother is in Dublin, the other is in London, and we miss each other terribly. Wherever we are, we drink three beers like this and it’s as if we’re together.” Then – it was about this time of the year – the man came in and ordered two beers. The bartender brought him the two beers and, after a bit of hesitation, said that he was very sorry if something happened to one of the brothers. “No, both brothers are fine,” the man said cheerily. “But I’ve given up beer for Lent.”
May those that love us, love us.
And, those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And, if he doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles…
So, we’ll know them by their limping.
We drink to your coffin
May it be built from the wood
Of a hundred year old oak tree
That I shall plant tomorrow.
I drink to your health when I’m with you
I drink to your health when I’m alone
I drink to your health so often
I’m starting to worry about my own!
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
Half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
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