{"id":48410,"date":"2019-07-23T14:38:25","date_gmt":"2019-07-23T19:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/?p=48410"},"modified":"2019-07-30T06:15:46","modified_gmt":"2019-07-30T11:15:46","slug":"beyond-welcome-show-dont-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/index.php\/2019\/07\/23\/beyond-welcome-show-dont-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"Beyond Welcome: Show, Don\u2019t Tell"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\u201cShow, don\u2019t tell\u201d is a phrase well-known to most anyone who has taken a writing course. Using this technique, authors convey a story or some plot point through dialogue or actions, thoughts, sensory events, and emotions, instead of through argument, thesis and antithesis, exposition, conclusion, and so on. It was summed up by Anton Chekhov: \u201cDon\u2019t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This past Sunday, with its gospel account of\nJesus\u2019 visit to Martha and Mary, I got to thinking how both women showed\u2014and\ndidn\u2019t merely tell\u2014Jesus of their love for him, how they showed that they cherished\nhis presence, and how they showed their care for him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For whatever reason, this year for the first\ntime \u201cshow, don\u2019t tell\u201d also struck me as an ideal approach to the matter(s) of\nhospitality, welcoming, and so on\u2014whatever your preferred term may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the first parish I worked for full-time as a\nliturgist\/musician, I\u2019d been informed at my interview that the parish had something\nof a reputation for being cliquish and rather cold to outsiders. The solution\nthe liturgy committee had reached was to have the commentator (a role fully envisioned\nby the liturgical documents) say that the parish extended a warm welcome to\neveryone. Since\u2014as in most parishes\u201499%+ of those in attendance were members and\/or\npeople who regularly attended Mass there\u2014it seemed odd to me that this welcome\nshould be extended week after week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll confess a personal bias against terms such\nas \u201cwelcome\u201d or \u201chospitality\u201d mostly because I think they can cause or at least\nperpetuate a rather wobbly ecclesiology. My frame of reference (and I know\nthere are others) is that of welcoming or showing hospitality to people in my\nhome: while I am pleased to have guests, they don\u2019t live there; while I want\npeople to be comfortable in my home, I do have a solid sense of what is mine and,\ntherefore, what isn\u2019t theirs. It all sets up a me\/you, us\/them,\ninsider\/outsider dynamic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A reflection, \u201cGuests among Guests\u201d by Rev. Mary Luti, recently helped me come to terms with many of my views about this issue. She observed that\u2014except for the feeding of the multitude, the Last Supper, and the post-resurrection breakfast on the beach\u2014whenever Jesus was at table, it was always somebody else\u2019s, be it Levi or Zacchaeus, various Pharisees, Peter\u2019s wife, or Martha of Bethany. <br> <br>She continues: \u201cSo when we say we welcome everyone to the church\u2019s table because Jesus welcomed everyone to his, we\u2019re on shaky evidentiary ground. Which doesn\u2019t argue for exclusion. It only suggests that Jesus may present a challenge to us not so much because he was a gracious host, but because he was a willing\u00a0guest.\u00a0 If our churches aren\u2019t very inclusive, it might be because too many of us have mistaken ourselves for the Giver of the Feast. We\u2019re not hosts extending invitations. We\u2019re\u00a0guests\u00a0among\u00a0guests. Yet we behave as if having arrived earlier than others has given us proprietary rights over the hall. [C]hurches will more closely resemble God\u2019s all-embracing realm when we relinquish our sense of entitlement to them, cease welcoming others as if there\u2019s such a thing as \u201cothers,\u201d stop playing munificent hosts, and learn to be good\u00a0guests.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Beyond-Welcome-photo-1-533x400.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-48414\" width=\"543\" height=\"408\" srcset=\"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Beyond-Welcome-photo-1-533x400.jpg 533w, https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Beyond-Welcome-photo-1-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Beyond-Welcome-photo-1-100x75.jpg 100w, https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Beyond-Welcome-photo-1.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Starting with that first parish position of mine,\nI\u2019ve always had the feeling that telling others about our welcoming spirit was\nsomething of a mask, something to make us feel better about the true face that\nwas underneath it. Here, perhaps, is an area in which Roman Catholics in\nparticular might need to be a bit more honest about the face behind the\n\u201cwelcome\u201d mask. There are conditions for coming to the table, there are boundaries,\nthere are things for which you can and will be excluded. I\u2019m not trying to\ndetermine the rightness or wrongness of any of this, just saying that it\u2019s\nprobably healthier to be honest about it up front. That way, you don\u2019t end up\ntelling people things that you aren\u2019t able to show them. Jesus had a rather low\nthreshold for hypocrisy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Each in her own way, Mary and Martha employed \u201cshow,\ndon\u2019t tell\u201d during Jesus\u2019 visit, and I think their witness is a helpful\nfoundation for us. There are nuts \u2018n\u2019 bolts hospitality concerns for Martha to\ntake care of: people need to know the restroom location, what the songs are, and\nit certainly helps the whole experience to have a \u201chello\u201d or a \u201cgood morning\u201d from\na friendly face at the door\u2014especially for those who live alone or are the only\nmembers of a household who attend. Following the lead of Mary of Bethany, we do\nneed to make sure that the word is heard clearly, that there is prayerful\nattentiveness, framed with the dialogue of both silence and response. Still, as\nimportant as caring for these essential details is, we can\u2019t mistake accomplishing\nthem for the accomplishing of the broader mission of incarnating \u201cGod\u2019s\nall-embracing realm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My own sense has long been that we should be speaking of our churches\/parishes\/congregations as places of <em>belonging<\/em>, places of <a href=\"https:\/\/ethicsdaily.com\/why-your-church-must-be-a-place-of-inconceivable-inclusivity\/\">inconceivable inclusion<\/a>, and\u2014above all\u2014places in which we relentlessly show, show, show\u2014so we don\u2019t have to tell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Featured Image:<br>\u201cMartha and Mary\u201d by He Qi<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve always had the feeling that telling others about our welcoming spirit was something of a mask, something to make us feel better about the true face that was underneath it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":63,"featured_media":48412,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[3118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ars-celebrandi-new-ws"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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