{"id":2730,"date":"2010-06-25T15:25:18","date_gmt":"2010-06-25T20:25:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/?p=2730"},"modified":"2010-12-20T23:23:04","modified_gmt":"2010-12-21T05:23:04","slug":"the-new-translation-under-the-microscope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/index.php\/2010\/06\/25\/the-new-translation-under-the-microscope\/","title":{"rendered":"The new translation under the microscope"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a policy, PrayTell<\/em> does not\u00a0reveal to the public translations of not-yet-approved or never-approved liturgical prayers. But when translations leak out on other websites, we permit ourselves to note them and report on them. Several translations of\u00a0some collects are found here<\/a>. Excerpting from that website, we give\u00a0you the Latin original, the 1974 (current) translation, the proposed (and rejected) 1998 translation, the 2008 submitted version, and the 2010 (probably final??) version. A reader who wishes to remain anonymous offers his\/her comments below in italics. <\/em>Most of these technicalities will probably not matter to people in the pews. But if the final version of our missal does not follow Liturgiam authenticam<\/span> and does not translate the Latin accurately, and if it reverts arbitrarily to the 1974 translation here and there, church authorities will have given themselves a difficult task indeed in trying to commend and defend the new missal. The rank incompetence such as is found in the Lectionary sequences, noted below, doesn’t help things either.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>
\nFirst Sunday of Advent<\/strong><\/p>\n

Latin Original
\nDa, quaesumus, omnipotens Deus,
\nhanc tuis fidelibus voluntatem,
\nut, Christo tuo venienti iustis operibus occurrentes,
\neius dexterae sociati,
\nregnum mereantur possidere caeleste.
\nPer Dominum.<\/p>\n

1974 ICEL
\nAll-powerful God,
\nincrease our strength of will for doing good
\nthat Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming
\nand call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven,
\nwhere he lives and reigns\u2026<\/p>\n

1998 Projected (rejected) ICEL
\nAlmighty God, strengthen the resolve of your faithful people
\nto prepare for the coming of your Christ
\nby works of justice and mercy,
\nso that when we go forth to meet him
\nhe may call us to sit at his right hand and possess
\nthe kingdom of heaven.
\nWe ask this …<\/p>\n

2008 New Version
\nGrant, we pray, almighty God,
\nthat your faithful may resolve to run forth with righteous deeds,
\nto meet your Christ who is coming,
\nso that gathered at his right hand
\nthey may be worthy to possess the heavenly kingdom.
\nThrough our Lord.<\/p>\n

2010 Final Version
\nGrant your faithful, we pray, almighty God,
\nthe resolve to run forth to meet your Christ
\nwith righteous deeds at his coming,
\nso that, gathered at his right hand,
\nthey may be worthy to possess the heavenly kingdom.
\nThrough our Lord.<\/p>\n

1. \u201cGrant your\u201d \u2013 I think this just does not work to take the dative.
\n<\/em>2. Surely it has to be \u201cto run forth with righteous deeds\u201d and \u201cto meet your Christ at his coming.\u201d
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

3. Who are \u201cgathered at his right hand\u201d? Who are \u201cthey\u201d whom we are praying \u201cmay be worthy to possess\u201d? One wants it to be \u201cyour faithful,\u201d but the way the sentence is constructed, the antecedent seems to be the \u201crighteous deeds\u201d who are gathered and possess the kingdom!<\/em><\/div>\n
<\/em><\/div>\n
<\/em><\/div>\n

\n<\/em>Christmas Mass in the Night<\/strong><\/div>\n

1970 Missale Romanum
\nDeus, qui hanc sacratissimam noctem veri luminis
\nfecisti illustratione clarescere,
\nda, quaesumus, ut, cuius in terra mysteria lucis agnovimus,
\neius quoque gaudiis perfruamur in caelo.
\nQui tecum.<\/p>\n

1974 ICEL
\nFather,
\nyou make this holy night radiant
\nwith the splendour of Jesus Christ our light.
\nWe welcome him as Lord, the true light of the world.
\nBring us to eternal joy in the kingdom of heaven,
\nwhere he lives and reigns…<\/p>\n

1998 Projected (rejected) ICEL
\nGod our Creator,
\nwho made this most holy night radiant
\nwith the splendor of the one true light,
\ngrant in your mercy
\nthat,
\nas we celebrate on earth the mystery of that light,
\nwe may also rejoice in its fullness in heaven.
\nWe ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ…<\/p>\n

2008 New Version
\nO God,
\nwho have made this most sacred night radiant
\nwith the splendor of the true Light,
\ngrant, we pray, that we who have known
\nthe mysteries of his light on earth
\nmay also feast on his joys in heaven.
\nWho lives and reigns.<\/p>\n

2010 Final Version
\nO God,
\nwho have made this most sacred night radiant
\nwith the splendor of the true Light,
\ngrant, we pray, that we who have known
\nthe mysteries of his light on earth
\nmay also delight in his gladness in heaven.
\nWho lives and reigns with you.<\/p>\n

1. <\/em>\u201chis gladness\u201d? If we\u2019re abiding by Liturgiam authenticam<\/span>, surely \u201cgaudiis\u201d is \u201cjoys,\u201d the plural of “gaudium.” This is not adequately rendered by the singular \u201cgladness.\u201d
\n<\/em>2. Beyond that, \u201cjoys\u201d are clearly something (plural) that one can share, i.e., these \u201cjoys\u201d are his \u201cpossessions,\u201d if you will, that he can share with us \u2013 as opposed to \u201cgladness,\u201d which more accurately describes a personal state, a quality pertaining to oneself.
\n<\/em>3. According to Liturgiam authenticam<\/span>, \u201cmysteries\u201d (plural) which we\u2019ve known on earth are to be matched by \u201cjoys\u201d (plural) to be enjoyed in heaven. The parallel is lost – which sounds like the criticism of the old ICEL!<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n


\n<\/em>Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time<\/strong><\/p>\n

Latin Original
\nProtector in te sperantium, Deus, sine quo nihil est validum,
\nnihil sanctum, multiplica super nos misericordiam tuam,
\nut, te rectore, te duce, sic bonis transeuntibus nunc utamur,
\nut iam possimus inhaerere mansuris.
\nPer Dominum.<\/p>\n

1974 ICEL
\nGod our Father and protector,
\nwithout you nothing is holy, nothing has value.
\nGuide us to everlasting life
\nby helping us to use wisely
\nthe blessings you have given to the world.
\nWe ask this through our Lord…<\/p>\n

1998 Projected (rejected) ICEL
\nO God,
\nprotector of those who hope in you,
\nwithout whom nothing is strong, nothing is holy,
\nenfold us in your gracious care and mercy,
\nthat with you as our ruler and guide,
\nwe may wisely use the gifts of this passing world
\nand fix our hearts even now on those which last for ever.
\nWe ask this through our Lord…<\/p>\n

2008 New Version
\nO God,
\nprotector of those who hope in you,
\nwithout whom nothing is strong, nothing is holy,
\nlavish your mercy upon us:
\nwith you as ruler and guide
\nmay we so use the good things that pass away,
\nthat we may even now hold fast to those that endure.
\nThrough our Lord.<\/p>\n

2010 Final Version
\nO God,
\nprotector of those who hope in you,
\nwithout whom nothing has value,
\nnothing is holy,
\nbestow in abundance your mercy upon us
\nand grant that, with you as our ruler and guide,
\nwe may use the good things that pass\u00a0in such a way
\nas to hold fast even now to those that ever endure.
\nThrough our Lord.<\/p>\n

Wow! Where do you start with this clunker?
\n<\/em>1. Side note on the 2008 version: what happened to Liturgiam authenticam<\/span> here? Surely the fifth line should begin with \u201cthat\u201d to translate the \u201cut\u201d of the original Latin. The application of Liturgiam authenticam is selective elsewhere as well. For instance, in Eucharistic Prayer II (revised version now posted online at the Bishops\u2019 website), where the Latin clearly says, \u201cto stand<\/strong> before you\u201d (in the current sacramentary\/missal, \u201cto stand in your presence and serve you\u201d), the revision says \u201cto be<\/strong> in your presence,\u201d reportedly for fear that translating \u201cadstare coram te\u201d literally might encourage those who do not want to kneel after the consecration. But if you\u2019re supposed to translate literally and then explain via catechesis, doesn\u2019t that principle apply here, too?
\n<\/em>2. Back to 2010: \u201cvalidum\u201d is rendered \u201chave value\u201d a la the now-rejected ICEL paraphrase of 1975. How did that happen?
\n<\/em>3. \u201cBestow in abundance your mercy upon us\u201d: This reminds me of my Latin teacher telling us how some of the old Polish folks in his native town would translate literally: \u201cThrow me down the stairs my hat.\u201d But even \u201cMultiplica super nos misericordiam tuam\u201d would come out right if the reviser(s) had followed Liturgiam authenticam<\/span> and put any \u201cexpansion\u201d at the end: \u201cBestow upon us your mercy (in abundance = to get in the multiplica, which really is not bestow).\u201d I grant that \u201cenfold us in your gracious care and mercy\u201d of 1998 is a paraphrase. But \u201clavish\u201d in 2008 comes closer to \u201cmultiplica\u201d than \u201cbestow\u201d without the awkward \u201cin abundance\u201d coming before the object.
\n<\/em>4. Again, a la Liturgiam authenticam<\/span>, \u201cgrant\u201d isn\u2019t in the Latin. If you just translate literally, like the document says, you get something like: \u201cthat, with you as our ruler and guide.\u201d
\n<\/em>5. \u201cthe good things that pass in such a way\u201d – YIKES! – \u201cin such a way\u201d belongs back with \u201cuse\u201d and has to be translated \u201cso use\u201d as in 2008, because it\u2019s simply too easy to confuse what \u201cin such a way\u201d is modifying, so far removed from the verb it is.
\n<\/em>6. The 1998 (paraphrase) version tried to avoid \u201cthat . . . that . . . that\u201d which shows up in the more literal translation of 2008. But \u201cever endure\u201d ? If they endure, isn\u2019t it ever? The \u201cever\u201d is unnecessary in terms of meaning and unhelpful in terms of rhythm. Read the last line without it and the rhythm is restored.
\n<\/em>
\nThese revisions remind me of the translation of the Pentecost Sequence in the current USA Lectionary, where whoever revised it \u201cfixed\u201d the archaisms simply by dropping syllables and altering rhymes – with disastrous, but approved results. Go to your Lectionary and check it out:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCome, thou Holy Spirit, come!\u201d becomes: \u201cCome, Holy Spirit, come! Goodbye \u201cthou\u201d – but goodbye rhythm too!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cO most blessed Light divine \/ Shine within these hearts of thine\u201d becomes: \u201cO most blessed Light divine<\/span> \/ Shine within these hearts of yours<\/span>. Goodbye rhymes!<\/em><\/p>\n

The revision of the translation of the Corpus Christi Sequence, \u201cLauda Sion,\u201d is even worse. I will note only a few things. Filled with archaisms even in its final form – and it would have been better left archaic all the way through – some archaisms were removed, again, simply by dropping syllables:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBring him all the praise you know\u201d: the rhythm requires \u201cknowest,\u201d \u201cbestowest.\u201dWe\u2019re left with complete meter in the first stanza and a clunker in the second. The last verses combine all the missteps:<\/em><\/p>\n

You who all things can and know
\n<\/em>Who on earth such food bestow
\n<\/em>Grant us with your saints, though lowest,
\n<\/em>Where the heav\u2019nly feast you show,
\n<\/em>Fellow heirs and guests to be.<\/em><\/p>\n

Obviously, it needs to be \u201cknowest . . . bestowest . . . lowest . . . showest.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh well…<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a policy, PrayTell does not unveil to the public translations of not-yet-approved or never-approved liturgical prayers. 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