{"id":12078,"date":"2011-10-31T09:18:58","date_gmt":"2011-10-31T14:18:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/index.php\/2011\/10\/31\/halloween-treat-mark-schweizer%e2%80%99s-%e2%80%9cliturgical-mysteries%e2%80%9d\/"},"modified":"2011-10-31T19:51:51","modified_gmt":"2011-11-01T00:51:51","slug":"halloween-treat-mark-schweizer%e2%80%99s-%e2%80%9cliturgical-mysteries%e2%80%9d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/praytellblog.com\/index.php\/2011\/10\/31\/halloween-treat-mark-schweizer%e2%80%99s-%e2%80%9cliturgical-mysteries%e2%80%9d\/","title":{"rendered":"Halloween Treat: Mark Schweizer\u2019s \u201cLiturgical Mysteries\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>For the readers of <em>Pray Tell <\/em>who can carve out some free time for non-work-related reading, I recommend a series of novels written by Mark Schweizer and published by SJMP Press of Tyron, NC comprising the \u201cLiturgical Mysteries\u201d series.  The major character and narrator is Hayden Konig, who is the Chief of Police of St. Germaine, North Carolina, organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, and an aspiring crime noir writer.  The novels are filled with eccentric characters, odd plot twists and delightful wordplay.  The descriptions of the various inter- and intra-denominational squabbles over worship will be quite familiar to the readers of this blog.  The drafts of Konig\u2019s crime novels (Xeroxed and shared with the choir in their folders at rehearsal) are small gems of comic writing: \u201cIt was a dark and stormy night, although Tessie, the one o\u2019clock weather-girl on Channel Two, had nasally predicted a clear and starry night, but was once again dead wrong, chiefly due to her education (Meteorology for Blondes), her inability to read a tele-prompter, and her current preoccupation with the ever-burgeoning hope that this fellow she\u2019d been hearing about, Doppler Radar, would ask her out on a date.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The reason I am posting this recommendation on Halloween is that the latest in the series, entitled \u201cThe Countertenor Wore Garlic,\u201d involves both adolescent vampires and a flashmob of zombies, although the descriptions of the Calvinist Anglican \u201csupply\u201d priest, Vicar Fearghus McTavish, and the Congregational Enlivener hired to spice up St. Barnabas\u2019 Sunday worship are actually more terrifying.  Pastoral musicians might especially enjoy this description of the titular countertenor, a musicologist, who joins St. Barnabas\u2019 choir:<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2019Do not mock me,\u2019 said Ian Burch, his nasally voice rising even higher than usual.  He held some sort of wooden Renaissance instrument, cylindrical and about five inches in length, and gave it a startling honk.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Good Lord,\u2019 said Pete as he walked up.  He stuck a finger in one ear and pretended to clean it out.  \u2018What the heck\u2019s going on?<\/p>\n<p>\u2018This is a racket,\u2019 said Ian Burch, Ph.D.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018It certainly is,\u2019 said Nancy.<\/p>\n<p>Ian ignored her.  \u2018According to ancient legend, vampires cannot abide its sound.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Me neither,\u2019 said Nancy.  \u2018Does that make me a vampire?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Nancy\u2019s snide comments didn\u2019t seem to both Ian and he was happy to hold his prize aloft and continue the music lesson.  \u2018I ordered this one last week.  The common name is the racket, but it\u2019s also known as the wurstfaggot.  The sausage-bassoon.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Unfortunate name,\u2019 said Pete. \u2018And an unfortunate sound.  No wonder vampires don\u2019t like it.\u2019\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoy \u201cThe Countertenor Wore Garlic\u201d you may enjoy earlier volumes in the series, such as: \u201cThe Soprano Wore Falsettos,\u201d \u201cThe Bass Wore Scales,\u201d \u201cThe Organist Wore Pumps,\u201d or \u201cThe Baritone Wore Chiffon.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The major character and narrator is Hayden Konig, who is the Chief of Police of St. Germaine, North Carolina, organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, and an aspiring crime noir writer. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[93,20],"tags":[1630,579],"class_list":["post-12078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-music-general","tag-mark-schweizer","tag-st-james-music-press"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - 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