By Sister Laura Suhr, OSB
Discernment isn’t a word most of us use on regular basis, it’s a word we typically reserve for someone thinking about religious life or priesthood. When someone thinks they might have a call to religious life or priesthood, sometimes we say “discerning a vocation” as though there is only one type of “vocation” that could be discerned. As if one wouldn’t discern a vocation to single life, and especially not marriage!
Discernment is really a process of seeking, reflecting, and evaluating before we make any decision. Often it stems from a restlessness within in us, a longing for something more, something different. In his Confessions, St. Augustine tells us “…our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” Our baptismal call is to live a Holy life, a life in relationship with God, a life where we experience God’s love, hear the voice of God in a variety of ways, and with guidance of the Holy Spirit and a lot of grace, trust God enough to act on whatever has surfaced from prayer, whatever will bring us peace and take away the restlessness, because we know it’s resting in the Lord. Even when it’s hard.
So, maybe part of our baptismal call is a call to discernment – a call that is not a once and done process, but rather a continual evaluation and seeking of how God is acting in our lives and how we can be the best disciple, sharing our faith through our words and actions.
While discernment is on-going, it’s also about making a choice. The restlessness we feel won’t go away if only “think” we might be called to religious life but never act on it. Someone recently said to me that the younger generations are afraid of life-long commitments because they think “something better might come along.” There is always that risk, but discernment is a process to help us find peace, a peace that will exist even if another opportunity presents itself. Discernment is a process to help us know when to move and when to stay put. It’s a process we should engage in each time we feel that restlessness and discomfort arise in us.
We live in a world full of busyness and distractions. Smart phones and other technology allow us to do more mundane tasks quickly, so we have time for “more” (more of what – I’m not quite sure). But technologies–perhaps social media–which allow us to escape for just a moment, sometimes consume much longer than that “moment” we intended.
Fewer mundane tasks and more screen time lead to less time for quiet and more discomfort with silence than previous generations. It can feel easier to leave discernment to those “seeking a vocation” rather than fighting temptations to create a regular time and place to listen to God and trust the direction given, even when it may seem contradictory to common sense, or sometimes, it just feels too hard!
For me, I like talking and people enjoy engaging with me in conversation – why do I need to talk less?? Holding back so others can share, even when I receive positive feedback from others about my storytelling, surely that’s not what you’re asking of me, God?
Perhaps discernment feels daunting because we think it’s only about these really big, life altering decisions (which, let’s be honest, they often are), but what if we made it a regular part of our prayer life, and learned to really listen and trust God?
If we trust God in the small things, then, when we do need to “discern the big questions,” we can be ready to place that greater trust in the Lord. We can learn to listen to God through scripture, through others, through silence. And that elusive silence can be found in many places – journaling, sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament, or walking in nature. We experience and recognize moments of deep inner peace. Moments we know God is with us.
Taking time for silent prayer allows us to be more aware of the way the Holy Spirit is acting throughout our day. Reflecting on our day helps us to see the many graces and blessings each of us receives.
By fostering a relationship with God, we can open ourselves up and follow God’s lead, even when it’s hard. Even though there might be discomfort, ultimately, the greater sense of peace and ability to rest our hearts in the Lord will help us persevere in following whatever God asks of us. Taking a leap of faith after a time of discernment is necessary for our own growth and maturing as disciples.
So, don’t be afraid of the word discernment – it’s a part of our baptismal call. It’s not scary – it’s simply about listening, relationship, and deep inner peace!
Sister Laura Suhr, OSB is Vocation Director for the Sisters of the Order of Saint Benedict in St. Joseph, MN. She also directs Girls, God and Good Times, (3g for short) a Catholic Benedictine summer camp sponsored by her community.
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