Memory Eternal: Living with Grief as Orthodox Christians
by Sarah Byrne-Martelli
Who should read this book? Although the book was written by an Orthodox Christian for an Orthodox Christian audience primarily, it should also be of interest to any Christians who struggle with loss, especially the death of a loved one.
What is the main point? The author grounds her work in an understanding of death and grief as unavoidable parts of our human existence and puts them into conversation with the life of the Church. For Christians, Christ’s life-giving death on the Cross is both a tragedy, but also a gift to us, creating us anew —“uniting us in resurrection and recreating us in the fullness of life” (p. 22).
Why is this book practical? In addition to being grounded in the theology of the Christian church, the book is highly practical. For instance, the author includes a listing of texts from Scripture where one can find comfort, as well as a section on how to talk to a grieving person. In particular, she focuses on what not to say and offers ways to rephrase or to find the words that can help convey our concern and solidarity.
Applications. One of the most notable features of the book is the inclusion of an eight-week bereavement guide that explores our experiences of grief. This section includes nuggets of wisdom from the Bible, the saints (both East and West), literature and culture, and personal experiences of others who have grieved. Each week focuses on an aspect of the grieving process such as lamenting one’s loss, healing that can be found in prayer and liturgy, forming continuing bonds with our loved ones, aspects of forgiveness and anger, as well as challenges to our faith and, hopefully, eventually, a sense of “bright sadness.” Furthermore, each lesson includes an activity or exercise to help process one’s grief. Ultimately, the goal of the grieving process is to find a way to live with our grief. As the author says, “The goal is to talk and think through the pain of grief, share memories, and learn to live with joy, while knowing you are forever changed” (p. 113).
In addition to the bereavement guide, there is also a guide for group facilitators to help support those going through the grieving process.
The inclusion of the bereavement and grief facilitator guides, as well as the practical information found in the appendices mentioned above, help to make this book an important resource for the grieving, as well as for those supporting them. I highly recommend it.
Sarah Byrne-Martelli. Memory Eternal: Living with Grief as Orthodox Christians. Ancient Faith Publishing, 2022, 192. SKU 9781955890182
REVIEWER: Teva Regule
Orthodox Theological Society in America, Immediate Past-President