Hyperbole is an age-old linguistic device
that employs extreme exaggeration to make a point.
It is as ancient as the Greeks
which makes sense because the word itself
is derived from two Greek words
which literally mean to “throw beyond,”
a pretty good description of hyperbolic rhetoric
which throws speech beyond the realm of ordinary thinking
to make a point.
Sometimes hyperbole has been used over the ages
for poetic purposes, as in W.H. Auden’s love poem,
“As I walked out one Evening.” He writes:
I’ll love you, dear, I’ll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street.
We are seldom that eloquent but employ hyperbole
as a staple in our conversations.
How many times have we complained
that we have a million things to do this week,
or that we waited in line forever, or that the job is killing us.
Then, of course, there are politicians
for whom the ability to exaggerate
seems a prerequisite to getting on the ballot.
So, you might find it comforting to know
that already in the 5th century BCE
there was a rabble-rousing Athenian politician named
– wait for it – Hyperbolus,
who used popular prejudices, false claims
and empty promises to gain power.
Guess there isn’t a lot new under the sun!
Footnote: if you feel that your gifts of exaggeration need honing,
after Mass you can always announce
that this was the greatest sermon you’ve ever heard.
The reason for this excursion into hyperbole
is because of those tough gospel verses
in which the Lord seems to go overboard,
announcing that it would be better if we hung a dump truck around our necks and took a swim in the Danube
than to lead a child into sin.
Or if any part of your body causes you to sin,
pull out the chainsaw and be done with it.
James picks up on Jesus’ rhetoric,
warning the rich that their finery will turn to moth-eaten rags
and their bitcoin and IRA’s will devour their flesh like fire.
I’m not sure Elon Musk is listening.
Like James, Jesus not only understands
that he is using hyperbole to make a point,
but he also knows that drowning by millstone
and self-mutilation are not only extreme
but also prohibited by the Jewish scriptures.
So why do Jesus and James
wander into “exaggeration land”
when they know that too much exaggeration
sows the seeds of doubt and contributes to disbelief?
How often will people listen with openness to snake-oil peddlers
promising cheap life-changing products and processes:
diets that ensure you will lose up to 15 lbs. a week
without exercise, while eating anything you want;
or politicians promising instant economic stability
and world peace if we only vote for them?
Is Jesus’ traveling the hyperbole highway
actually flirting with the possibility of a diminished message?
While having never participated in the practice,
I hear a lot of ads for online gaming and betting
accompanied by my growing irritation
that FanDuel is the bane of Chicago radio.
Nonetheless, revenue in the online gambling market
will reach about $25 billion this year.
Overall sports betting will grow 6 times that amount:
yep – $150 Billion.
Yet gambling is risky business – even for the rich.
Ever hear of Terrance Watanabe?
In 1977 he inherited the Oriental Trading Company
And sold off his share in 2000
when it was worth about $1 billion.
A compulsive gambler, he bet more than $825 million
often losing more than $5 million a day.
On one trip in 2007 he lost $204 million.
He ended up so broke that when developing cancer
he started a GoFundMe campaign
to raise money for his operation.
But it isn’t only at casinos that folks make bad bets.
In 1920 the Red Sox owner Harry Frazee
sold a player to the Yankees in 1920
in order to finance the Broadway musical “No, No, Nanette”
The player’s name: Babe Ruth.
The Red Sox were doing pretty well at the time,
having won their 5th World Series behind the Babe,
but after the sale, they would have to wait 85 years for another World Series win.
As for the Yankees, behind Ruth they went to 7 world series
and won four them.
Powered by 665 of his 714 career homes.
“No, No Nanette” became a hit,
but Red Sox fans paid for it dearly.
Now you might be asking yourself,
ok, interesting, but what does a compulsive gambler
and a monumental trade blunder
have to do with Jesus, millstones, amputations, and eye-gouging?
Only this: Unlike Watanabe and Frazee,
Jesus understood that the stakes were too high
to gamble away the hopes of the marginalized and the lives of the innocent.
So he raised the ante as high as it could go,
beyond the table limits of any casino,
and announced that if you erred on the side of injustice
and jeopardized the well-being of the little ones,
you just gambled away eternal life.
While I don’t do many of them anymore,
a few weeks ago I had the privilege of baptizing Colin John
after previously having witnessed his parent’s marriage
and baptizing his older brother Ryan.
Colin John’s demonstrative antics at the baptism made me wonder whether his baptism had taken hold
and needed redoing!
There is a somewhat uncomfortable ritual
in the baptismal liturgy for infants that some drop out:
the exorcism, which sounds too much like a 1973 horror movie
and its many bad sequels.
On the other hand, I find this a very wise ritual. It is not about expelling demons from an innocent,
but about reminding the community professing faith for him/her
that evil is taught,
prejudice is nurtured,
greed, corruption, and even violence are unwelcome legacies handed on from one generation to the next.
Legacies currently being played out
from Yemen to Sudan,
from the streets of Chicago to those of Gaza,
punishing the innocents of the world.
Recently I’ve been listening to a truly incandescent novel:
Martyr, written by the Iranian poet Kaveh Akbar.
It is not simply a coming-of-age story
of a newly sober, orphaned son of Iranian immigrants
but a “discovery of purpose” story
as this excentric, driven, gifted, and searching soul
struggles to create a life that has meaning,
maybe even through martyrdom.
One memorable hadith or wisdom tale from the book
ricocheted between today’s readings and our social context
with its increasing disregard for human life
especially of the young and most vulnerable.
It goes like this:
Once when I was a boy our teacher told us the hadith of the starving man. The man was dying in the desert, got on his knees and begged to God. ‘Please help me, I’m starving, nearly dead, too tired to continue looking for water. I don’t want to hurt anymore; please almighty Lord take pity, end my suffering.’ God in his infinite wisdom sent the man an infant to take care of, so that the man had purpose and a reason to stay alive.
The author continues:
I remember thinking this story didn’t make sense. Why not just send him food, water, or a bed. God stories always seem to work that way … sideways … convoluted like one of those elaborate chain reaction machines built in the most deliberately nonsensical way using a track and a spring and a candle and a balloon to ring a bell…
Jesus’ teachings are our treasury of sideways stories
that shake us out of our stupor
and remind us, as the great African-American writer and activist James Baldovin said so eloquently:
The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.
So what do we do?
My instinct is that we don’t look to clergy here for direction,
but to wise parents, grandparents, and guardians
like many of you here and online.
You are experts in looking out for children,
alert to signs of bullying and abuse,
veterans who historically recognized the exploitation of children
when holy Mother church was not so holy
and publicly stood up to church leadership at every level forcing them, despite their reluctance,
to take forceful and enduring action.
While much of that crisis has passed
we need your wisdom, your passion, and your leadership,
so that truly no child is left behind
and rather that all innocents are surrounded by safety and care
and, as the poet prays, that they are ultimately brought home
through Christ our Lord.